Update

It's been a while since I have updated here.

I am still a non smoker :-) and I have lost 32lbs in weight, thats 2st 4lbs. I have been well and truley in the zone. Its great feeling my clothes get baggier, and feeling a whole lot healthier.

A week today and it'll be Xmas day, I love Xmas, though I have to work the morning of Xmas day. But I don't mind.

We're all snowed in at the moment, I didnt have to go to work today, or tomorrow. But I fully expected my boss to tell me to walk the 3 miles to work lol.

I am going to try and keep up with my posts.

It's been over a year since I last posted

Its been over a year since I posted here, and like the last time I am trying to lose weight again.

I was 50 in June and though I don't feel it at all, I know I have to do something about my weight and smoking. As I want to live longer and healthier.

On the 19th of this month -July- I gave up smoking ..yet again, this time it will be for good. The day before I gave up, I was sat in the garden having a smoke, and I heard the woman next door in her bathroom, coughing and hacking stuff up, it sounded bloody disgusting, she is 70 and smokes, that made my mind up.. the next day I bought patches and gave up.

This week I joined Weight Watchers, I have tried diets for 20 years, so why should this be different, well when I gave up smoking before I ate more...or when I dieted I smoked more, it was a vicious circle. So this time I'm doing them both together...its the only way.

I'm not sure anyone will read this, but I am writing it down for me, get all the feelings down and not keep them inside.

But if anyone does read this, it would be nice just to let me know :-)

This week

This is the first time I've had chance to catch up here this week. It was fat club on monday, first time I've been for a couple of weeks, so not expecting great things lol, but I lost 2lb's :-). Better than putting on.

Went to a Manual Handling refresher this week, omg that was so boring, most of it wasn't even for us, just the slings and hoisting was our thing, which we do everyday, so nothing new there, but hey it has to be done, and its out the way for another year.

We're on our last disc of season 1 of Heroes, if you havent seen it, you really must, its great, my favourite character is Hiro, he's wonderful :-).

Oh I forgot to say, I went to the Manual Handling thing with my daughter and the irritating one lol, and to be honest we had a laugh, so I didnt get any stress from her....it won't last lol.

My week

Well, my weeks holiday is almost up, and I've been quite busy, in the house. Spring cleaning.

Mark began the non smoking thing this week, I think he has found it quite difficult, but yesterday he actually went all day without a ciggie...well done babe, it does get easier.

Last month I bought series 1 of Heroes, I had never seen it before, well this week we decided to try it, and OMG its fantastic, I love it. So looked on Amazon and managed to get the complete series 2 for £14.99, how good is that :-) So I am a happy girly hehe.

Back to work tomorrow, and I cant wait, yes that sounds so sad, but I love my job, I love working with Daryl, and I think we're off to the pictures tomorrow so that should be fun :-)

This post is a bit boring I know, but hey, its better than having a go at people lol.

Well Well Well,

I recieved a memo earlier from the domme, this is what it said:

"Please don't bother to contact us again as we won't agree on this and it's upsetting you"

Errr no, it isn't at all upsetting me, I contacted these people because we had had an argument months ago, and I thought maybe, just maybe we could all be mates again...How fucking wrong was I, the first memo's seemed quite genuine, they really seemed pleased I had contacted them, but then the msn chats, twat simon got us into a 3 way convo, and at some point I'd called him simon, and his domme said "Simone likes to be known as Simone" I said that twat simon knew how I felt about calling him that, and I couldnt do that. And it was left at that.

Then a big change today.

Twat simon doesn't have a mind of his own, he need to hide behind his domme (yes small d on purpose). He cries if anyone so much as dare upset him, he cries if people don't like him, (which I know there are lots). He can't argue his point, he needs dommy to do it for him, he is her 'kitty' but he talks like a fucking baby, and he is a sad twat who needs to fucking grow up.

**Big breath**

That's so much better now I have got that all out. Unless I need to release anything about the Twat cats again, these will be my last words on the subject.

Making friends

Well its monday again, and should be weigh in day, but I'm not going, I have eaten what I like in the past week, but today I start again, and won't worry about how much I lose or don't lose, because if I stick with it I will get to my goal sooner than later.

Life is too short to be argueing with people don't you think? So this week I made an effort to make up with a couple of people I had argued with, they are online mates, I have never met them.

They are Dominate and submissive, the submissive calls himself Simone, but I have never called him that, prefering to call him Simon. Well this morning I recieved a memo from Iona (his Domme) saying that simon is upset that I dont call him Simone, oh yes and he is also Iona's 'kitty' and also I wont accept his kitty persona. The reason I wont accept the kitty persona is that when he talks in kitty talk its babyish, now in my opinion, if she likes this then thats fantastic, but please don't expect others to like this. I have told them both this in the past, but obviously they still have the need to moan about it.

It makes me wonder if I have done the right thing in getting in contact with them again.

I know they will read this, and I'm sure it will upset them, but I can only be honest, and If you don't like what I write here then don't read it...simple.

What do I have to do?

Last night was weigh in night, and I have been following the diet to the book, no cheating at all..I lost a fucking pound, how crap is that. I didnt stay to the meeting as was too upset, so came home.

I ate what I had missed for 2 weeks last night...Spag bol, kitkats, toast. And no I don't feel guilty, and yes it made me feel a lot better.

I will start the diet again today, but I wont be going to fat club next week, I'll go the week in 2 weeks time.

Carrying on from this blog http://whispersmoan.blogspot.com/2009/03/arrggghh.html (not sure how to make it smaller sorry). The other day I went into work, and she is stood there with the smallest shorts on, she look ridiculous, now I dont want you thinking that I was jealous because I can assure you I'm not. She has done well in the last year and has lost a lot of weight, but she has not got the legs for shorts, I just looked at her and shook my head...yes she saw me and to be honest I don't give a fuck.

I just wanted to hit her. Usually I can tolerate her, but this week would have been my wrong week if I wasnt going through the menopause, and on my wrong weeks, I cant stand her. And its weird because its only her I'm like this with. I think she wants a word with me, so I have made a list of things that she irritates me with lol ie -

1 - Copying my daughter in almost everything (Clothes,jewelery, music,things she says).

2 - Calling daryl the young man we care for chap...all the fucking time HIS NAME IS DARYL.

3 - Not listening to anyone.

4 - Thinking she is always right.

Well you get the gist of it.

I have to go now, my daughter needs to take her dwarf hamster to the vets.

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Pickle the hamster had to be put down, she had had a stroke and her body was shutting down :-(